How Families Can Cope With Loss During the Holidays
The holidays are approaching, and the most significant part of these traditions often surrounds the family. Family being together for the holidays. Holiday firsts for your infant, being with a partner or spouse, and so much more. Holiday movies are everywhere, streaming the most ideal visions of what the holidays should look like ( Cue Hallmark Movies). The reality is that not everyone has the privilege of family, togetherness, or even traditions. With the capitalistic and consumerism-based holiday, we often forget those who have lost family, partners, and children, become estranged, and more. Additionally, some people don't celebrate the holidays or celebrate the lesser-known holidays during this time and may feel excluded as a result. Recognize that the holidays will be difficult, and give yourself permission to grieve in whatever way you need to.
Grief That Often Gets Overlooked Because of the Season of Joy and Gratitude
Infant Loss During the Holidays
If you are experiencing infant loss during the holidays, there is no right way to grieve. Some people may prefer to be surrounded by loved ones, while others need more solitude during this difficult time. You might find yourself crying unexpectedly or unable to focus on anything but your grief. Remember that all of these feelings are valid, normal, and expected. You shouldn't have to pull back tears and emotions to cater to the wishes of those around you. To be true to your needs, taking a step back from the holidays may help, or creating traditions that honor the lost life can help reframe the loss.
Divorce and Affair Recovery
During the Holidays, holidays may be extremely difficult if you are going through divorce or recovery from an affair. You may feel a sense of loss around what the holidays used to look like while also navigating parenting with your ex and sharing time with extended family members who do not know what is happening in your relationship. While it may be tempting to avoid family events altogether, finding healthy and healing ways to cope is vital.
Estrangement During the Holiday
Holidays can be challenging if you have a family member or friend who is estranged from the family. If you are estranged from family members, it may help to remember that not everyone will understand your decisions and views surrounding the estrangement. You may feel that you need to justify why you felt the need to take a break or even why your family felt the need to set some boundaries and distance. Though this may be the case, remember that it is your right to set these boundaries for yourself, and you deserve to grieve the relationship. Whatever your experience this holiday season, remember that many resources are available to help you cope with grief during the holidays. Whether it's connecting with support groups or reaching out to a Pasadena therapist,
Grieving a Partner or Family Member Due to COVID-19
The year of the pandemic still affects us today. Many people lost partners, children, and family members unexpectedly. Now as the holiday season approaches, many people may be struggling with grief due to the impact of COVID-19 on their loved ones. Sudden loss is never easy, and the trauma of the ventilators, distance, masking, and not being with loved ones when they passed takes a toll. Whether you have lost a partner or family member due to this illness or are experiencing feelings of loss as you navigate parenting and social interactions during this time, it is important to acknowledge your feelings and give yourself grace.
Feeling Excluded From Not Celebrating the Holiday Traditionally
Even if the holidays are about love, joy, and gratitude for families and loved ones, not everyone can participate in traditions or events due to life changes that may have occurred. If you find yourself feeling excluded from holiday festivities due to parenting struggles, divorce or separation, illness or disability, grief or the loss of a loved one, financial hardship, or simply not sharing the same traditions or views, reach out to us. Know that there is a community that shares your beliefs and values. Whether it's connecting with support groups or reaching out to a counselor, know that you are not alone in your experience and that there is hope for healing. The holidays may be difficult, but they can also be an opportunity for growth and change if we allow ourselves to find the space for healing.
So what can you do?
Seek out support groups or online therapy in California if you're finding it hard to cope – there are people who understand what you're going through and can offer helpful advice.
Remember that you are not alone in your grief; there is hope for healing and recovery during this time. As you embark on the holiday season, remember to take care of yourself first. – prioritizing self-care will help you cope with the challenges ahead. And most importantly, reach out to those around you who love and support you.
You deserve to feel seen, heard, and valued.
Take care of yourself – make sure to get enough rest, eat healthy meals, and exercise regularly. This will help improve your overall mood and well-being during such a tough time.
While we cannot solve everything today. Managing your emotions and distress tolerance skills can help you find more peace this holiday season.
Distress Tolerance ACCEPTS:
A: Activities: Walking, Journaling, Listening to Music
C: Contributing: Volunteering, Donating
C: Comparisons: " This isn't as bad as when..."
E: Emotions: Do something that competes with your current emotion. Sad, watch a funny movie...
P: Pushing Away: Do away with negative thoughts till you are ready to deal with them...
T: Thoughts: Count to 10, recite a poem, name animals from A to Z...
S: Sensations: Touch something soft, hold ice cubes in your hand...
Loving Kindness Meditation:
A practice of directing compassion and kindness to yourself and others, Loving Kindness Meditation can help you find and nurture your inner peace during this time of grief. Try sitting in a comfortable position, closing your eyes, and focusing on your breath as you repeat positive affirmations to yourself or loved ones. Start by repeating "may I be well," then move on to "may I be happy," "may I be safe," and "may I live with ease." You can practice this meditation for as little as 5 minutes, or go deeper into the practice by meditating for longer periods of time.
Accumulating Positives:
In addition to practicing Loving Kindness Meditation, another way to cope with grief during the holidays is to focus on accumulating positive experiences and emotions. This can be done by setting small daily goals for yourself, spending time with loved ones and friends, or engaging in activities that make you feel joyful and alive. Focusing on the things that make you happy and bring more joy into your life can help you cope with the feelings of loss or sadness that often arise during this time. Whether it's through meditation, journaling, or any other form of self-care, remember that peace is possible – even during the most difficult times.
If you need additional support this holiday season, reach out to an online therapist in California!
Online therapy is a convenient and confidential option that can provide you with the support you need from the comfort of your own home. Please visit our website or contact us to learn more about online therapy and whether it may be right for you. To get started:
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OTHER SERVICES WHOLE MOTHER THERAPY OFFERS:
We offer services that are tailored to fit the needs of each client. The lives of each person are unique and are shaped by a variety of experiences. As a result, our Pasadena office has therapists who offer a wide range of mental health services at our Pasadena office, we provide individual therapy for new parents, postpartum anxiety treatment, birth trauma, postpartum depression support, marriage counseling, and couples therapy for new parents, and virtual therapy.
We also offer an eight-week in-person Sacred Motherhood Circle to honor the transitions and transformations of motherhood. And we hold several support groups, including an online pregnancy support group and an online postpartum support group. Finally, you can read more about our services, values, and resources on our therapy blog.