Conscious Parenting as a Way to Remember and Reclaim Lost Ancestral Ways and Traditions
These days, it’s become very common to hear the term conscious parenting or respectful parenting. Countless social media accounts now talk about this topic, and there are plenty of courses and books for parents to investigate. Here, I want to draw attention to a little-addressed additional benefit of conscious parenting. It can be a conduit for remembering and reclaiming lost ancestral ways and traditions.
When people talk about conscious parenting it’s often not in the context of ancestral healing. Most of the focus is on breaking cycles and healing your inner child. And that’s certainly a useful and valid aspect of conscious parenting. When we are drawn to this approach to parenting, it’s precisely because we want to raise our children in a way that’s different from how we were parented.
In a Literal Sense, Conscious Parenting Also Means Pulling What Has Been Kept in The Dark Into Our Consciousness.
It involves bringing awareness and attention to what has been stashed in the shadows of our experience. When we start breaking cycles, we are tapping into the deeper roots of our ancestral healing. We’re exploring all the ways that the wounds and traumas of our personal lineage impacted our ancestors. And we’re uncovering how these wounds and traumas continue to impact us directly in the present moment.
Let’s pause for a moment to acknowledge that we live in systems defined by White Supremacy, Capitalism, and Patriarchy. Why do we need to name this? Because these systems have caused, and continue to cause, direct harm to the lineages of all of us. This is true whether you have Western European ancestry or come from the Global South. It’s also important to acknowledge that parents who come from the Global South have deeper layers of trauma and more extensive wounds that need tending. As a result, their ancestral ways and traditions may not be as accessible, or they may be fetishized or dismissed when they are in direct conflict with the systems of White Supremacy, Capitalism, and Patriarchy.
So how does conscious parenting open the gateway to remembering and reclaiming lost ancestral ways and traditions?
Because when we bring a conscious approach to our parenting practices we start to see all the ways that the systems have informed and shaped them. And we also see the ways these systems informed and shaped how our parents, our grandparents, our great-grandparents, and so on parented. The scope of our understanding widens and deepens, opening a channel to both critically assess and empathize with our ancestors. We often see how forced assimilation cut us off from our roots, which represent our connection to the lands of our ancestors, and thus to the rich traditions of that land and lineage.
For many parents, especially BIPOC parents, the birth of their child(ren) also births a potent need to remember and connect to ancestral ways. This is not talked about much, but it’s a powerful way of supporting, protecting, and reclaiming a voice and a power that historically has been stripped away. In this process, healing happens through the embodied remembrance of our roots.
You May Be Wondering, “How Do I Start This Process?”
It may feel overwhelming, or even heavy, as many of us have lineages that suffered terrible oppression and/or were the oppressors. But remember, all your lineages also carry joy, love, connection, discovery, and beautiful tradition. When these are woven into your life and your parenting, it can help anchor and ground you in a greater sense of unity and trust within yourself, your family, and your community.
Here are some simple places to start:
Cook food from your homeland. Choose recipes, ingredients, and spices that carry the smells and tastes and spirits of your ancestors. This is one of the simplest and most direct ways to connect to and reclaim your ancestral traditions.
Listen to the music and languages of your ancestors. Play songs and allow the melodies, lyrics, themes, and stories to resonate in your body. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t able to understand or speak the language. It’s about allowing your senses to open up and remember what is deeply held in your blood, bones, and DNA.
Connect with the earth along with your little one. This can involve taking a leisurely walk, going to the park, sitting on the grass, or listening to the birds. All our ancestors had connections with the earth and the elements, and rituals to honor them. When you allow this kind of connection, you open yourself to being held by the earth. But also by your ancestors, whose feet touched the same soil. Often in parenthood, especially in the early years, the challenges we face intensify our feelings of isolation and loneliness. You only need to remember that your connection to the land also connects you directly to your ancestors. It reminds you that they are always with you, just as the earth is always with you.
If you speak a different language, speak it with your child(ren). It doesn’t have to be with the intention of them becoming fluent in the language. The sounds of your ancestors can help inform your child’s development in truly powerful ways.
Remember, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Starting small and approaching with curiosity allows space for you to be gentle and compassionate with yourself. There is no right or wrong way to go about this. But by making the effort you will bring rediscovered richness into your life and the lives of your child(ren).
BEGIN WORKING WITH AN ONLINE THERAPIST IN CALIFORNIA TODAY
Connecting to and reclaiming your ancestral roots is a powerful and meaningful step in the process of conscious parenting. Remember where you come from and the legacy of your ancestors. Then share this with your child(ren) to ensure that they are deeply connected to themselves, their family, and their roots. At Whole Mother Therapy, we understand the importance of this connection and can assist you on your journey of reclaiming ancestral ways and traditions. This is a significant and often emotionally charged process, so we offer a safe and supportive environment to explore the deeper roots of your ancestral healing. As a parent, it’s important to have a space where you can be your most authentic self and learn tools to help you navigate the journey. Our team of experienced therapists is here to provide the support and guidance you need to reclaim your heritage in a healthy and healing way. To get started with online therapy and/or online postpartum support groups, simply follow the steps below.
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OTHER SERVICES WHOLE MOTHER THERAPY OFFERS
Our Pasadena-based online therapy practice offers a variety of mental health services to support individuals, single parents, couples, and families. Our services include individual therapy for new parents, postpartum anxiety treatment, therapy for birth trauma, therapy for infant and pregnancy loss, therapy for infertility, postpartum depression support, marriage counseling and couples therapy for new parents, counseling for parental burnout and overwhelm, and online therapy in California for new and expecting parents.
We also offer an eight-week in-person Sacred Motherhood Circle to honor the transitions and transformations of motherhood. And we hold several support groups, including an online pregnancy support group and an online postpartum support group. Finally, you can read more about our services, values, and resources on our therapy blog.
As an inclusive practice with BIPOC and queer practitioners, we want you to know that this is a safe and affirming space. Our practice is LGBTQIA+-allied and welcomes diversity of race, religion, sexual orientation, and gender identity. When you’re ready for support, we hold a healthy, inviting space for you to heal, grow, and develop with us.